John Greer caught being very cheerful after Yoga Class
Looks like Flying Dutchman winger John "Wheezy" Greer is in a bit of hot water. Looks like Greer is all bent out of shape. Looks like John Greer's antics have got his Dutchmen teammates steamed, if you know what I mean. John Greer's been caught doing Yoga. But wait, it gets worse. Good ol' regular yoga wasn't good enough for Johnny. He's doing HOT YOGA. "I like it hot. It's sweaty." Greer said when asked how he got into such a...erm...sticky situation. Some say it's just the latest in a series of strange habits he's picked up since getting together with Jen Aniston. "I've always been interested in Yoga and things like that...Vegetarianism," said the 27 goal scorer over organic bacon and eggs. "And it's good to get stretchy, sometimes, I think."
Greer's guru, Shantalom
When told of Greer's escapades, his teamates reactions were ran from lukewarm to bikram-hot. "I think it's a lot of nonsense," said Keeper Matthew Maxham. Team Captain David Wheaton was a little more diplomatic. "Look, we were coming down of a great playoff run, and sometimes, when it's over, it's hard to adjust to regular life. I'm just glad nobody got hurt." Perhaps it was Vanna Vong who summed it up best "What's hot yoga?" Hmm. What indeed?
In an earlier post (DW outgunned, but not outhearted) I wrote that my posts would end with "Posted by D-Min," or something. Well, for now it seems, that is wrong. They will fall under the name "David." I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Unfortunately, this may be my last post as solo blogger on this site. The Powers that be have decided to open up to the other players on the team. Maybe we can arrange individual signatures so all of the fans can follow their favourites. Yes. So, let’s get that out of the way, shall we? Mine will say “posted by D-min, a.k.a. Slowfoot.”
Well, the Flying Dutchmen’s season is over. But so is The Marines’. So fuck them, too. Man! 9-3. Just when you think they’re gonna pull it out, they go and shove it farther up your “you know what.” (Ass) The Flying Dutchmen were definitely not living up to their name by the end of this one. The players on the other team weren’t even really running by the end of it. The sad thing is, they didn’t have to. Happy for them, I guess. Now, look. I realize the Dutchmen were down by four or five goals with time running low. Paraphrasing the great Don Cherry, you should never run up the score, right? So fuck it.
The first half was relatively close, considering the Marines’ track record against the Dutchmen. They hadn’t lost once all season. Actually, they have never lost once to the Flying Dutchmen. Ever. But that’s beside the point.
Mini Van had lots to say after the game.
D-min blonde put in another star performance with a goal and some assists, even though he was playing hurt the whole game. But first, let’s talk about the goal: to quote the venereal Bob Cole, “Whoa, Baby!” Slowfoot got the ball in the slot and launched a seeing-eye ball right into top corner of the top shelf.
“It was a frozen rope!” said Graham in the scrum after the game. Or something like that. When asked what this meant on the ride home, Pear Man said “I don’t know, that it was straight?”
“Probably that it was really fast. Fast enough to freeze rope,” he was told (by Dave). To a man, Dave was correct.
“Nice shot”, said The Terminatrix Files, right after the game. The rest of the team agreed. “It was great” they seemed to say. D-max laughed at D-min after the goal and never got one himself.
After that, the fitted sheet started to come off the bed. A couple of other guys scored for the Dutchmen - more on that some other time. However, despite His efforts, the game was lost.
“Thanks,” said Jaybird, who had just been given a beer by Slowfoot as Jo-Jo looked on.
1st Star: D-Min
2nd and 3rd stars: La Bouche, Jo-Jo, The Velvet Rope, D-Max, bucky, Mini-Van, etc.
Here's a trip down Memory Lane. Check out this CBC spot on the 1955 incarnation of the Dutchmen, a year before representing Canada in the Olympics. Also, it was shot mere 2 years before they shed the skates forever, during the early days of ball hockey. A story often told has Coach Bobby Bower having dinner with Prime Minister Louis St-Laurent shortly after the Olympics, when suddenly, right before the main course, Louis asks Coach Bower "Why in hell don't you guys get some balls and show us some real hockey." That's when he decided to talk to the owner about relocating and modernising the team.
Two Dutchmen caught carousing with mystery girl in Griffintown Supper Club
Team Veteran (age: 33) caught drinking at high school party.
Well, it looks like the Flying Dutchmen are already celebrating following their first round win against 2Short. Reports say various members of the team have been seen around town imbibing strange brew. Strange only because they are merely days away from the match of their lives against Cup Champs, The Marines. One report had Mini Van doing the Lambada a.k.a. "The Forbidden Dance" with the Mayor and 2 Pages. I'm not sure what a Page is, but it doesn't sound good. And shouldn't he be more worried about "The Big Dance"? When Guy Lafleur said "We partied every night," I don't think he meant the days leading up to the Championship Finals. Ok, maybe he did, but he was Guy Lafleur, after all. Did either Jaybird or Jo-Jo score against 2Short? I don't know, and I don't care. You don't have to look farther than the return of Number One goalie Maxhamum Security to see where this win came from. It's pretty hard to lose a game when your goalie decides to stop 93 shots en route to a shutout win over the winningest team of the regular season. The Velvet Rope was unavailable for comment on his teammates carousing. Not out of loyalty, but due to the fact that, in the words of his beloved wife, "He's still not done his squats. He shouldn't be much more than an hour longer because he's been in there since 2:00." I spoke to her at 3:45.
Let's hope they know what they're doing, because I sure don't.
Yeah, it looks like I'm going to have to hire a non colour blind person who possesses enough computer literacy to talk to the machine because I gotta get some team photos up and it's just not happening. Is this where I say the site is under construction?
After squeaking into the playoffs, we've just defeated the number one ranked team, and are headed to the finals. I thought it would be a good idea to document the journey. Better late than never. This is our story.
