Old, Drunk and Unkempt in Europe

Bobette Misses Home and Away Openers 

One thing you may or may not have noticed: Bobette has not shown up yet this season. Only this time, it's literal. His agent, Borky Devereaux, claims that he's been training vigorously in Greece, France, and the UK. However, recent leaked photos from his iCloud account have indicated otherwise. 

These photos show him with multiple "trainers" and "advisors" doing variations on the sitting, lounging and laying-down positions.

    He recently wrote a letter to Sea Bisquee's mother, which was immediately intercepted and dropped off for leakage. Here's almost the whole thing:

Babe,

Garbageman got married. I had to get out of there for awhile. Too many memories. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I love Greece. I could really grow accustomed to life out here in what can only be called "this Fantasyworld". Number one like: the wines. Especially anything from Italy. Number two like: the fast food. Number last like: not being allowed to flush toilet paper with the poops. It's an outrage. What damn century is it, anyhow? Because I forget every time I flush. It's called 'Toilet paper' for Bufo's sake! It just doesn't make any sense. Also, I just wanted to let you know that I go by the name Mitso now, so that's what you call me. Strange coffee ideas out here. Great old buildings, though. Just like the black and white movies we used to watch. Anyways, Take care of yourself and give SB and the rest of the Dutchmen my best. xoxo

P.S. Be good to Eric. He can be harsh with you, but it's because he only wants the best for you. Be home soon???

Mitso

Let's take another look at the trainings. 

And another:

Hmmm.

 If the Dutchmen had a GM, he would probably be asking Vanna to bring in one of his teammates from his many other championship winning teams. 

Fancy Feet to Miss Penultimate Game

“The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.”  - Samuel Beckett

F.F. taking part in charity `First Blood` Re-enactment Day Festivities

Fancy Feet will not be in attendance as the Flying Dutchmen face-off against The Habsbeen, who hold the second seed.  This is a mysterious occurrence, especially considering the high likelihood that  it is this very match up the Dutch will find themselves in come playoff time. 

The crux of the issue is that the Bruins-Wings game takes place on Friday, which means nobody on the entire planet has any idea what the fuck else he could possibly be doing with his time on a night like this.  I'm sure he has a good reason - it'd just better be a good reason.

His absence will be significant also for the fact that Ol' Shitfoot will be taking his place on defense.  From one foot to another?  What's better?  Fancy Feet or Shitty Feet?  Normally fancy feet would be optimal, but considering that we're in the drive to the playoffs, maybe a little shit between the Dutchmen's toes is exactly what is needed heading into the series.  Let's all get back to work.

Ball drop is in the evening.  Which one of these players will "feeture"?  

Ellowfuckingell.