Bartlett Traded

Daniel in Montreal at team party

    Stalwart Defenceman Daniel Bartlett has had his trade request fulfilled in a move which sees him rounding out an already funny Montreal Roster.  He adds his wit, charm, and overall sense of humour to to a clubhouse already brimming with laughter.  I mean, a team with the likes of Scott Gomez, P.K. Subban , and class-clown Roman Hamrlik, must surely look forward to the addition of such a supernova (for lack of a better word) of fun.  Bartlett seemed jubilant about the move.

From the Room: All In Keep Sticks on Balls

D. Maxham works on strategy with team counsellor

What an ugly match.  Officially, there were three red cards given out, along with one yellow card.  However, by the sound of it, Daniel Maxham believed there could have been even at least one more "yellow" card given out.  As the Flying Dutchmen went over adjustments they should make for their next match against All-In, team captain David Wheaton made a suggestion that was not only questionable, but questioned by Daniel Maxham. 
    A demoralized Wheaton said "We shouldn't even show up for these p***ks next time." 
   Maxham, enraged, called out Wheaton in front of the dressing room "What!?  That's the most p***y thing I've ever heard!"
    "Ha! Ha!  I was just jokin'.  No, that would be stupid.  Good answer Danny!  Did anyone agree with me?  If anyone agreed with what I just said, they're off the team." rambled Wheaton while trailing off. He then ran out of the gym/dressing room, mumbling something about hockey tape.

Costello: "Doc Says I Can't Play!"

Patrick Costello

Dutchman Forward Patrick Costello has confirmed that he will not be able to play for the forseeable future due to a dislocated shoulder incurred while "messing around"  with Defenceman Graham Cuthbertson.  "We were moving s*** around in the dark, and the rest is history," said Costello.  "Doc says I can't play."
      "I don't even know what happened, to be honest," said Cuthbertson. "One minute we were lifting a couch or something, and the next thing you know, Patrick's standing there, white as a sheet, telling everyone to get away from him.  It was pretty funny.  By the way, everyone should check out the trailer for our play on Youtube.  It's called 'Gordon' by Morris Something."(playwright Morris Panych).

Dutchmen No. 1 in the Entire League

For all of you who were worried, check out these stats:
Most Wins*:  The Flying Dutchmen - 1
Most Goals*: The Flying Dutchmen - 12
Highest Plus/Minus*:   The Flying Dutchmen - +8
Most Social Points*:  The Flying Dutchmen - 5
Most Fairplay Pts*:  The Flying Dutchmen - 10
Highest Win%*:  The Flying Dutchmen - 83.3%
Biggest Star:  The Flying Dutchmen - you know who.

As Yogi Berra once said:  "Hot Yoga will only get you so far." 
Last night's game saw the STM get taken for a ride, for a change.
"Looks like we took the STM for a ride, for a change,"  quipped Frederic Bouchard.
"Yeah, usually it's the opposite," clarified Joachim Gadbois.
"Exactly, usually, it's the STM takes people for a ride," said forward Patrick Costello.  They were all laughing and/or smiling.  Then they all left to watch the last period of the hockey game.  So, that's about it.

(* stats may change over the next week, due to factors outside our control, such as other teams submitting their game results)

Wheaton Goes For a Jog

"I'm going for a jog.  Hopefully we can turn this season around," said David Wheaton, after losing 7-3 to their division rivals, 2Short, last Wednesday. 
   "You can't do that, you can't come into training camp out of shape.  I mean, I didn't train much in the offseason, and I guess it caught up with me.  So, hopefully, I can come back after this jog, and be ready for the start of the season.  You know, look at Johnny, and what he's been able to do, with the heat yoga.  He got a goal and gave us a chance to win.  I mean, yes, it is a sacrifice, but no, it's not one I'm willing to make."  he said, and after a thoughtful pause, continued "No, it's not one I'm not willing to make.  So, yeah."

The Flying Dutchmen recently finished a 2 week break between seasons.  Wheaton had one missed shot and played 3:32, with an average shift of 17 seconds.

Le Retour du Roy

Roy caught attacking Paparazzi on Crescent st.

The Dutchmen have finally signed Defenceman Alain Roy for the coming season. "Je suis tellement heureux de me joindre aux Dutchmen!" said Roy, to hordes of fans and media.  No official word on the terms of the deal.  The figures being mentioned on Twitter range from 5.2 to 6.5 tens of dollars.  A cap hit of 60 Dollars would leave the Dutchmen with Twelve players under contract and about one Buck of space, which will probably end up being a drummer.