Old, Drunk and Unkempt in Europe

Bobette Misses Home and Away Openers 

One thing you may or may not have noticed: Bobette has not shown up yet this season. Only this time, it's literal. His agent, Borky Devereaux, claims that he's been training vigorously in Greece, France, and the UK. However, recent leaked photos from his iCloud account have indicated otherwise. 

These photos show him with multiple "trainers" and "advisors" doing variations on the sitting, lounging and laying-down positions.

    He recently wrote a letter to Sea Bisquee's mother, which was immediately intercepted and dropped off for leakage. Here's almost the whole thing:

Babe,

Garbageman got married. I had to get out of there for awhile. Too many memories. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I love Greece. I could really grow accustomed to life out here in what can only be called "this Fantasyworld". Number one like: the wines. Especially anything from Italy. Number two like: the fast food. Number last like: not being allowed to flush toilet paper with the poops. It's an outrage. What damn century is it, anyhow? Because I forget every time I flush. It's called 'Toilet paper' for Bufo's sake! It just doesn't make any sense. Also, I just wanted to let you know that I go by the name Mitso now, so that's what you call me. Strange coffee ideas out here. Great old buildings, though. Just like the black and white movies we used to watch. Anyways, Take care of yourself and give SB and the rest of the Dutchmen my best. xoxo

P.S. Be good to Eric. He can be harsh with you, but it's because he only wants the best for you. Be home soon???

Mitso

Let's take another look at the trainings. 

And another:

Hmmm.

 If the Dutchmen had a GM, he would probably be asking Vanna to bring in one of his teammates from his many other championship winning teams. 

Fancy Feet to Miss Penultimate Game

“The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.”  - Samuel Beckett

F.F. taking part in charity `First Blood` Re-enactment Day Festivities

Fancy Feet will not be in attendance as the Flying Dutchmen face-off against The Habsbeen, who hold the second seed.  This is a mysterious occurrence, especially considering the high likelihood that  it is this very match up the Dutch will find themselves in come playoff time. 

The crux of the issue is that the Bruins-Wings game takes place on Friday, which means nobody on the entire planet has any idea what the fuck else he could possibly be doing with his time on a night like this.  I'm sure he has a good reason - it'd just better be a good reason.

His absence will be significant also for the fact that Ol' Shitfoot will be taking his place on defense.  From one foot to another?  What's better?  Fancy Feet or Shitty Feet?  Normally fancy feet would be optimal, but considering that we're in the drive to the playoffs, maybe a little shit between the Dutchmen's toes is exactly what is needed heading into the series.  Let's all get back to work.

Ball drop is in the evening.  Which one of these players will "feeture"?  

Ellowfuckingell.

Let the Good Times Roll

The Flying Dutchmen extended their record to 4-1 last week, on Wednesday, October 24th.  It was another come-from-behind win, as they trounced their arch-rivals 7-3.

Pony-tail was his old self.  Slashing and hitting with great zeal, he lost the game for his team, as he's done before, and probably will again.

DaveZ forgot to bring water.

"We Need Graham Back."

Graham, moments after his first cup win.

Another day, another loss.  Another two losses.

"You know, it's not just hurting us.  It's bad for the whole league when you lose a player like that.  He's absolutely a marquee player.  When he's in the lineup, it fires us up.   I don't know what it is, but we're a different team when he's there.  He makes us angry and gives us confidence.  You know, he causes that extra second of hesitation.  It's infectious.  It spreads to their whole team.  It's just frustrating, because we came so close to winning the championship last season, and for the Flying Dutchmen to lose that guy now...it just makes it that much harder for any of the other teams to beat them.  We need Graham back," said the captain of  the other team, Chacals.

"I Love Coming From Behind"

It was a sultry atmosphere in the Flying Dutchmen Hockey Club's showers following their 8-5 come-from-behind victory over Les Achigans.  The air was filled with the sounds of running water and towel slapping goodness.  But one member of the team found himself on the receiving end.
    "J'ai oublié ma serviette," said Fred.  "C'est comme dans un match. Je n'ai aucune protection."

Johnny Kubrick?

Johnny took a bunch of photos and videos during the game.  I asked him to send some of them over to me.  He said some of them didn't turn out so good, so he would only send me the best ones.  

Don't quit your hobby, Johnny.

Someone approaching Matt

An example of the type of game it was

Matt not playing

Handshakes

Handshakes

Alain about to Handshakes

Erik walks back from handshakes

Marines Lose.  Paul gets excited.

And my personal favourite:

We'll always have our memories, I guess.

Here We Go Again

The Flying Dutchmen Hockey Club have been here before.  They've thrice managed to scrape and claw their way into the final, even when some said they had no business of being there.  Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.  That's what they would say.  Don't feel bad - The Marines are the brides.  It's not you, it's them.  The Marines are always the brides.  That's just the way it is; it's perfectly normal for you to feel this way.  Have a tissue.

But not this time.

The Dutchmen have a new dance partner, as it were.  This new partner flies, as well.  They're called The Jets II and if you don't know them yet, you should.  Click here for more information (when the link is set up).

With no less than four key players out of commission (Patrick [wedding season]; John [thumb]; Eric [back]; Graham [what Patrick said]), the Dutchmen had no choice but to call up reserves from the rival MECBHL:

Erik - This Sneaky, tricky forward potted two goals tonight and was a fine substitution, considering he had to fill the larger-than-they-look shoes of one Patrick Costello, who was on personal leave, drinking at weddings.

Pietro - Though he's on the Dutchmen Roster, he's missed some time this season, so for those of you with short memories, he may seem like a new guy.  He's got a hard blade in the corner, and a shot to match.  He got at least one goal tonight, which would put him one ahead of you-know-who. (wink,wink.  Graham.)  Graham.

Paul - Pure sniper.  Smoke break before the game.  Tenacity along the boards.  Slow changes.  Smoke break after the game.  He's always up for a win.  Put in about two goals.  He's basically old John and new John, rolled into one.  As the inimitable Yogi Berra once said, "There are Johns, and then there are Johns.  We got both."

All in all, it's a real Cinderella story.  Only this time, The Flying Dutchmen aren't Cinderella.  They are the bitch the Prince is supposed to sleep with, now that his wife, the Princess, is away on business, or visiting her mother.  Somewhere out of town.  The Marines are the Princess.  The Flying Dutchmen are the girl he keeps on the side.  The Jets II are Cinderella, or Bridget Jones or whatever.  And she's trying to steal the guy we're having an affair with!  THE FUCKING CUP.

Forget that shit.  We bitches be getting laid TONITE! (next wednesday, 7 or 8 pm)  We're gonna HAVE SEX WITH THE  CUP!

No matter what.

John, send me those photos you told me about.